Money, is it all we desperate for?

Just that when I have some money, people just marching to me and begging for some.

 

Really, Sagal I do not understand her at all, how could you keep taking advantages of me? Have I ever done anything bad to you?

“No”, as far as I can remember but the more I help you the more you do not pay me any respect.

 

You borrowed my money loads since we moved into this house. Started by owed me for gas, electricity and internet. You keep promising that you will give it back to me so and so.

Once we went out shopping, you wanted to have a very nice and expensive jacket, you did lie to me that in your whatever “card” only have 20 pounds and the rest of your money was in Swedish card then I bought it and you did promise to give it back.

I was foolish enough of course, I did believe that you wouldn’t dare to just walk away because I didn’t know you and you surely, didn’t know me that well.

Then, you was going to go to New York, Loads of telling lies might have had just happened by then.

You came to me, showed me how desperate you were that you needed to go to America for Christmas, you said that it has been a mistake overhere. You said that Vodafone is going to charge you because you owed them certain amount of money. So, I asked you how much do you owe then you made up some numbers so I asked you how much do you want. So, you said 400 pounds then I lent you.

Just before you left, you came up to me again and said that your friends who have gone to America couldn’t get hold of the house owner who you would be staying in their houses, it is like a swap house, that what you told me. You said that you desperate for money because it was out of your budget, your friends already booked into the hotel and you have to be with them. Then, you asked if you could borrow another 200, but I could only give you 100.

Look at how selfish you are, you want cash but you don’t want to walk down to the proper cash machine, all you want just to take money out at the cash machine in the nearby shop but my card will be charged and you did again “promise” me that you will give the charges back to me.

 

You went and had fun in America, came back with such a lie again, telling that you lost all of the presents that you bought on the train but you didn’t seem to be frustrated about it.

You, again, keep bying things going to pubs, clubs and drinks ever so often.

Then, you gave money back to me, only 500 pounds and you forgot every other pennies that you did promised, you forgot all of utility bills, you forgot your jacket price and you forgot all the charges that you used my card to take out at this cash machine.

Then, by the time that I had no money, I asked you if I could borrow. Oh, yes, you did lend me actually, 500 pounds.

However, you keep exploiting me, you never paid for utility bills, you borrowed money and said that I can take it out from 500 pounds.

All together for the second lot was 50 pounds but you said you only owed me 30 pounds.

Then, by the time I’ve got money to pay you back, you wanted me to give it back to your Swedish account which of course it will be charges. You didn’t care of course. Worst than that, you required money back 500 pounds and you will give 30 pounds as you said that you owed me, back when you’re ready for it.

 

Is this how to treat me, sagal?

Just that you do not have money, just that you spent money without thinking, will it be my responsibility to keep giving you money? Is that so?

Who do you think I am?

I am just a poor person, who came here to study and relie on my allowance that my government support me to survive in UK not to be a philanthropist.

However, I did put money into your Swedish account only 470 pounds and let all charges be taken from your end, not mine.

 

Oh no! not yet, the money story hasn’t come to an end, not yet.

 

My mum, my beloved mum.

She recently just bought a house in the South of Thailand where I don’t feel that I belong to but she does. I kept asking her, beging her to buy a house in Bangkok or somewhere nearby so I do not have to travel long way when I go back to Thailand.

No, she never listened to me, she never loved me, in fact. She only enjoys my company because she can say to everyone that I am blind but so clever and most of all, I have money.

I’m not only studying in UK, I work part time, I work hard and study hard. So when my holidays arrive I will be able to spend my savings for traveling.

So mum thinks that I have lots of money, oh yeah, certainly if converts the pound stirling into the baht, it seems that I earned quite a lot. But no, not really, the living standard is so high in the UK, though she keep asking money from me.

I won’t object to give some to her since she is my mother, who gave me my life, who brought me up in a nicely way. However, I cannot give her as much as she wants.

Then, I feel guilty, then I have to give her the amount that she requires and ended up with starving myself and have no money left. She bought house, I never approved, she has her reasons but I don’t agree.

She asked if I could help her so I have to.

I don’t like this situation, the situation which my sister doesn’t help but she gets everything, the situation where nobody hugs me and stop taking money from me.

I am, at the end of the day, not the best person, not a nun and surely not alterist. I always think that we help people and feel good about helping just when we ready and wish to help. I don’t like being psychologically forced to help.

I am just a human beings, need to have my own house, my own business, have dreams to fulfill but everyone stops mine.

This is why I don’t like money, I can’t live without it but don’t like it at all. It causes me stress, it gives me pains.

 

But then, I have to be strong, I have my goals to reach, I have to keep my head high and keep walking straight to reach them.

I’m telling myself that if I’m getting tired now, then I just have to sit down and have a rest.

 

Every problem has its own solutions, I do believe that, though I do not know how long does the solution will come but when it does, it’s there.

Tags: beloved mum, borrow, house, liars, money, selfishness, take advantages